Understanding Postnatal Depression
Understanding Postnatal Depression is still a relatively new discussion in today’s modern society.
A few years ago, in preparation for a Maternity Nurse training programme, I was asked to write about the birth of my children.
My children were 11 and 7 at the time and in good health. Subsequently, I thought I had long moved on from thoughts of my pregnancies and those early years.
No one had ever asked me about the birth of my children. At the time, a good friend commented that I hardly talked about it.
At first, I shrugged it off, I was a new Mum with a premature baby who needed regular visits to the maternity hospital.
I was constantly having to explain ‘corrected age’ due to my son’s premature arrival, having been born nine weeks prior to his due date.
Consequently, this would result in feeling defensive whenever his development was questioned by medical professionals.
On the surface I was coping, in reality, I was a ball of anxiety.
This was in 1998 and awareness of Postnatal Depression didn’t really exist. At least it wasn’t being discussed generally back then, in the way it is recognised now.
This was prior to the explosion of online information in the mainstream. The following resources are a useful guide to understanding more about postnatal depression statistics.
Between 10 to 20% of women can experience postnatal depression and anxiety after giving birth (Perinatal Mental Health, 2019).
This increased to 47.5% during the first COVID 19 Lockdown, according to figures from UCL Researchers in 2021.
Furthermore, 1 in 10 men/partners can also experience postnatal depression as stated in a report by Psycom in 2020.
So as such, the following information is written to provide both the parent and friends and family with signs and symptoms of Postnatal Depression.
Subsequently, recognising and supporting Postnatal Depression and Anxiety.
Signs & Symptoms of Postnatal Depression
Firstly, it is important to know that Postnatal Depression is a treatable condition and there is help and support available.
Signs of Postnatal Depression often occur during the first few months after the birth of a baby. Furthermore, it can also appear at any time during the first year.
Firstly, it is important to know that Postnatal Depression is a treatable condition and there is help and support available.
Signs of Postnatal Depression often occur during the first few months after the birth of a baby but can also appear at any time during the first year.
Depression
Depression can present as extreme tiredness, feeling tearful and a lack of interest in taking care of yourself.
Anxiety
You may worry about your health or that of your baby. Anxiety can often result in physical symptoms, particularly headaches and pain in the chest or stomach.
You may feel anxious about going out or meeting up with others, these are natural feelings when dealing with anxiety.
Panic
You may feel overwhelmed by everyday tasks, additionally, you may experience a ‘panicky’ feeling’ and have difficulty breathing.
Tension
Your body often reacts to anxiety. You may feel the tension in your neck, head, shoulders and stomach.
Obsessional and Intrusive Thoughts
This could be about a situation or an activity. Feelings of guilt or anxiety following the birth of your child.
Unable to Sleep
You may feel your mind is racing and it is difficult to relax even when the baby is sleeping.
Loss Of Interest In Sex
This is a common symptom of depression. It is important for partners to realise that this is a cause of the illness and that sexual desire should return.
Feeling Like You Are Going Through The Motions
You can feed, cuddle and settle your baby but not feel any enjoyment.
Some parents describe feeling disconnected, or that they don’t really feel the baby is theirs.
Lack Of Appetite Or Comfort Eating
This is a very common symptom of anxiety and depression. Our emotions are very often connected with food.
Worry a Lot About Your Baby, A Fear of Being Alone With Your Baby
This can feel exhausting. You may feel you are constantly on high alert and unable to relax.
Postnatal Depression Support
Do tell someone how you are feeling, your partner, a friend or a relative.
Are you concerned about the mental health of a relative, loved one or friend following the birth of a baby?
These support services are of use to consider suggesting. Talk to your GP or Health Visitor as a starting point to access help and resources.
Ask to be referred to the local Perimental Health Service.
Keep Talking
Many organisations that support parents with depression and anxiety have telephone and instant messaging support.
Likewise, most are run by parents who have experienced the range of emotions and feelings that you are feeling.
They understand and have lived through it.
- PANDAS offer instant text support
- APNI have a chat line and instant box chat
Say Yes To Offers Of Help For Postnatal Depression
It is a gift to your friends and family to help you.
People often want to help but they are not sure of the best way. If someone asks,’ is there anything you need?’ then embrace it.
We are not meant to be isolated when parenting. Start creating your village.
Help can be as simple as making you a hot drink, preparing food, shopping, a listening ear, or some company for an afternoon.
The opportunities are endless.
Put Your Oxygen Mask On
I was very fortunate to be able to work with highly regarded and well-respected Birth Doula Susan Martensen.
Susan taught me the analogy of putting on your oxygen mask (as you would on a plane), in order to be well and care for your family.
Self-care is vital and you may not feel you have the energy or motivation for it.
Be kind to yourself. Start slowly, remind yourself to eat, try and take a walk outside.
Put on some music as a distraction. Try and plan to get out of your home at least once a day.
Try not to add to your anxiety by feeling responsible for everyone around you.
If your partner says they are fine and not stressed, then believe them.
Don’t carry the idea of someone else’s anxiety which may not be there in the first place. Refocus on yourself.
Spend Time Out of the House
When you are feeling anxious or depressed it can be hard to imagine any form of socialising.
Ask a friend or relative to come over and keep you company. Shower, eat during this time, and suggest a walk with them.
Build on this and see if there is a drop-in group for parents and babies nearby. Ask someone to go with you.
Trust in Your Instinct
Spend some time out of the house. I had a client who was very anxious about being alone in the house with her baby. Not to mention, her anxiety would often feel overwhelming and she would start to feel panicky.
She decided to write the 5-4-3-2-1- anxiety plan and post it around the house so that wherever she was she had a reminder of a strategy she could use.
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
So how can you help someone suffering from postnatal depression or anxiety?
Take Time To Listen And Validate Feelings About Understanding Postnatal Depression
For a person with PND, their experience and feelings are very real to them even if you may see the situation differently.
You don’t need to try and ‘fix’ someone with PND, simply give them your attention and provide a non-judgemental listening ear.
Understanding Postnatal Depression itself is a key skill in winning the battle against PND.
Offer Encouragement To Seek Help And Receive The Treatment Needed
A starting point could be talking to their GP or Health Visitor and asking to be referred to the local Perimental Health Service.
Your partner or friend may be feeling isolated and that they are the only ones experiencing depression or anxiety.
Reassure them that support is available and help them to access it.
Connect With Other Parents Who Have Experience In Understanding Postnatal Depression
This could be parents in your friend’s group or a drop-in programme once a week.
Parents who find understanding postnatal depression should be a natural course of action.
My weekly get-together with other Mums during the first year of my son’s life was my saving grace.
Knowing that someone else was also up in the night or swapping strategies on how to cope.
Subsequently receiving great support with feeding, lack of sleep, teething etc. it also helped reduce the isolation I felt.
Most organisations are now running drop-in groups for Dads run by Dads.
If you feel your partner is not ready to reach out, then try and encourage them to meet up with another Dad in your friend group.
Have a Look for Understanding Postnatal Depression Groups in Your Area
Children’s Centres are a good starting point, often running support programmes and drop-in groups for parents and babies.
These organisations have an excellent understanding of Postnatal Depression.
Some organisations such as Bluebell Care will have a buddy system in place. This helps build confidence in seeking help and attending building confidence to socialise.
The Pandas Foundation offers instant text support and APNI have a chatline and instant box chat.
Offer Practical Help
This can be in the form of shopping, preparing meals and helping with the housework.
Encourage the practice and importance of self-care. Ask your relative/friend what they used to enjoy before the baby arrived.
Reassure them that this is a very important aspect of recovery.
- Self-care can be as simple as an uninterrupted time to enjoy a shower/bath and dry their hair
- Exercise, walk in the park, swim
- Taking a short walk to a cafe and grabbing a coffee
- Time with friends or family
- Listening to music
- Time spent cuddling their baby. rather than focusing on feeding and trying to settle them
Encourage Time Out - And for You Too!
It takes a lot of energy to care for a baby and support one another.
Both of you need time to recharge. In the early weeks, it is so busy that it is hard to fit this in, but it is doable.
I always talk to my clients about what they enjoyed doing before their routine changed with a baby.
This could be exercising, meeting with friends, being with family, music, or cooking. almost anything.
What can you incorporate so you can switch off for a short while? Start small, 20 minutes to yourself can feel like a luxury.
And finally, this will pass, it really will. It may not feel like it, but how you are feeling, the situation you are in, it will not be forever.
Hopefully, you will now have a better knowledge of understanding Postnatal Depression.
Further Postnatal Depression Resources For Understanding Postnatal Depression
The Birth Trauma Association – supports anyone affected by birth trauma, including partners. Tel: 01264 860380
Maternal OCD – supports people experiencing perinatal OCD, and family members. Mail: info@maternalocd.org
Dads in Mind – offer both group and 1:1 support to dads supporting their partners with mental health during pregnancy and after birth.
Furthermore, experience depression/anxiety related to their own new role as a parent.
Currently operating in the West Country region. Mail adrian@dadsinmind.org
If you are bringing your newborn baby home for the first time you may find this article useful.
Margaret Maternity provides remote Maternity Nurse Services for parents of unsettled babies, for more information take a look at Margaret Maternity’s Online Clinic.
